Staying the Course
We’ve been having a bit of a crisis of faith here in our home. Trying to recover Matthew from autism is such an emotional roller coaster. Everyone, it seems, has some sort of belief about what we are doing, and for some reason none of their mothers ever taught them that if they didn’t have anything nice to say then they shouldn’t say anything at all. Because they sure do voice their opinions. And they voice them a lot.
I know that since I have decided to publicly discuss our biomedical journey then I open myself up for the opinions of others, and I guess I don’t really have a problem with those anonymous people that post negatively on my blog. But I think the comments that make me quaver are those made by friends and family. Some are truly trying to be helpful, but they offer other suggestions for how to bio medically treat Matthew. They discuss their famous biomedical doctor and his recommendations for their child, and how they directly conflict with what we choose to do. I quaver.
Then there are the people that for whatever reason try to cut us down. They claim to care for us and to love us, but they don’t take the time to understand Matthew’s disorder and his struggles. They make rude remarks and question our parenting skills. Or they compete with us. If matthew does just one thing well, just once, they tell me how much better their child is. Cant they give us this one, small victory? I quaver.
I quaver because I know this is Matthew’s life and I have one shot at getting this right. Am I wasting time with chelation? Should I be focusing on viruses or gut inflammation? Then there is the danger of quavering itself. I would fail to make any decisions and simply tread water, wasting precious time and opportunity. Like Buriden’s donkey, unable to make a choice between two options, would I be condemning Matthew’s recovery to death?
During this season of Faith, I consider the faith of the wise men that traveled to see the new born King. The faith the Virgin Mary had, and the faith of Joseph. They experienced such negativity yet they stayed the course and now 2011 years later we still remember. That is Faith. That is how we stay the course. We struggle through the negative, the lies, the fears and we continue to recover our children. I truly believe we are living participants in a significant historical event. What we do for our children now will be the standard treatment in years to come. But like any great change it starts with a ripple and is propelled by faith.
Stay the course and stay well.
Amen Maryann. Faith and trust is the only thing that gets us through each day. You are doing an amazing thing for your precious little Matthew. Trust your heart and know that you are doing all you know to do for your son and that is all that matters. We too have a 6 yr. old son, Jacob, who suffers from a lot of the physical gut,viral,and allergy issues that often go along with ASD's. When I read about Matthew I smile and cringe because I see so much of our Jacob from your stories. Everyday is so different. It is such an emotional journey, but I know that after 3 years of doing biomedical treatments he is in a much better place than he would be without it. Praying and having the support of our family is what really keeps us "staying the course". Will be praying for you too. God bless and hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas Day.
Kimmy75, often I write simply to show others they aren't alone in their feelings. We too have seen great improvement since doing biomedical and I'm so thankful for finding. But as I'm sure you know it isn't the only answer and we all go through so many ups and downs. I want other parents to know they aren't the only ones feeling unsure or afraid. That we all feel it. Sometimes more intensely than at other times. But we really are doing the right thing. I'm so glad your Jacob is doing better. And having parents like you involved in helping their kids makes me certain we will eventually figure it out. I just hope the government gets off their rear ends and helps us soon. Thanks for writing and a very Merry Christmas and happy new year to you too!