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IEP Meetings
We have attended a ton of IEP meetings in our short time in Elementary school. But one thing is always clear to us, there needs to be more compassion expressed by the staff and faculty. We usually get the draft IEP a few days before the meeting and it can be so heartbreaking to read all the areas in which Matthew is not meeting normal development standards. This also happens when we are given his report cards and there is just comment after comment of how he is not successful, and yet there is almost no talk of when he is successful. We do get the occasional email telling us about his good work, but not in the IEP meetings where we could use that bolstering.
your so right. Where is the compassion. It’s so much better to tell u what your child can do and what they are making strides in. Share ways to work with and help out. Hugs to you
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Not to sound dumb, but what is IEP?
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Penelope – be glad you don’t know what it means. It is an individualized education plan which is for children with special needs that fall into a category of certain disabilities. You have to have one of the disabilities to get an IEP and once in school (K to 12) your disabilities must cause problems with learning the curriculum, not just participating in the class. When a child is younger they can qualify for an IFSP – Individualized Family Services Plan (I think that is right) and those issues can be more like can’t feed themselves, or can’t put clothes on, or can’t play, but once they are in full time school it must cause problems with the curriculum not general functions.
My son had one for speech.
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I know exactly how you feel. All 3 of my kids are in the 504 system. When my oldest was in 1st grade I went in for my IEP and was told by his case worker ( who had spent all of about 20 min with him..total) that: “When your child is of low to below average intelligence, you cant really expect that much from them, so these IEP’s are just a formality required by the state.” I lost my mind, and so thankfully did his teacher, aid, & principal. They all informed her that his intelligence was, at the very least, slightly above average. She was fired from her position, 2 weeks later…we all raised hell. Middle child struggles daily just to keep up. Year after year I tried to get her the help she needed, only to be told she couldn’t qualify for full services because she didn’t excel enough in one subject enough to get full help. I finally just resorted to making her take summer classes too, so she didn’t fall even further behind, she also gets more one on one help that way due to the small class sizes.This is free in most cases, you just have to have the principal, & teachers sign a waver for them to attend. Child 3 who emotionally has the most issues, tested well on (one) of her evaluation tests…(not all of them) and was subsequently dropped out of her program completely. This was 10 weeks in to this school year. Now all of her grades have dropped her teachers are frustrated because they don’t have the time to help her, and all the school can say is she can be reevaluated in the fall. For a system that is supposed to help our children I would say that they have defiantly dropped the ball, on a lot of levels. Lucky for me she will be switching to the middle school in the fall. I have dealt with the case workers , and sp.ed teachers there with my oldest. They all are helpful..even the case workers..they make it a point to keep you informed, & really work on getting together the best programs to garner success for your child. Hopefully as he ages you will find that the same thing will occur for you, but until then, don’t ever be afraid to voice your concerns. Go to the school, observe the classes, volunteer to help with the classes, Stay in the loop. If you don’t like the way that they are interacting with him, tell someone. I love saying “well we’ll just see what your supervisor/principal has to say a bout that.” I do hope it gets better for you, and if you need anything feel free to call, your dad has my # .
I know exactly how you feel. All 3 of my kids are in the 504 system. When my oldest was in 1st grade I went in for my IEP and was told by his case worker ( who had spent all of about 20 min with him..total) that: “When your child is of low to below average intelligence, you cant really expect that much from them, so these IEP’s are just a formality required by the state.” I lost my mind, and so thankfully did his teacher, aid, & principal. They all informed her that his intelligence was, at the very least, slightly above average. She was fired from her position, 2 weeks later…we all raised hell. Middle child struggles daily just to keep up. Year after year I tried to get her the help she needed, only to be told she couldn’t qualify for full services because she didn’t excel enough in one subject enough to get full help. I finally just resorted to making her take summer classes too, so she didn’t fall even further behind, she also gets more one on one help that way due to the small class sizes.This is free in most cases, you just have to have the principal, & teachers sign a waver for them to attend. Child 3 who emotionally has the most issues, tested well on (one) of her evaluation tests…(not all of them) and was subsequently dropped out of her program completely. This was 10 weeks in to this school year. Now all of her grades have dropped her teachers are frustrated because they don’t have the time to help her, and all the school can say is she can be reevaluated in the fall. For a system that is supposed to help our children I would say that they have defiantly dropped the ball, on a lot of levels. Lucky for me she will be switching to the middle school in the fall. I have dealt with the case workers , and sp.ed teachers there with my oldest. They all are helpful..even the case workers..they make it a point to keep you informed, & really work on getting together the best programs to garner success for your child. Hopefully as he ages you will find that the same thing will occur for you, but until then, don’t ever be afraid to voice your concerns. Go to the school, observe the classes, volunteer to help with the classes, Stay in the loop. If you don’t like the way that they are interacting with him, tell someone. I love saying “well we’ll just see what your supervisor/principal has to say a bout that.” I do hope it gets better for you, and if you need anything feel free to call, your dad has my # .
Sam, I didn’t know all 3 were with 504′s. I am hoping we get off the IEP soon and make it to 504. But we are very involved, so no one is going to take this from him!
I hate it when teachers are so negative, it shows that they have lost touch of why they loved their job
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Meghan, that is exactly what I think. That sometimes they just forget why they started doing what they are doing.
People really need to focus more on the positive and less on the negative! Kids thrive on positive reinforcement!
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How often do you have the IEP meetings? Once a marking period?
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wait until you get to the upper grades. the other special educators at the school have more compassion than that. They always point out to me what she’s doing right. I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience. we can talk offline, maybe you can ask for who I have, and ask for her for next year. Your son is doing great and you’ve done so much to recover him. whenever you get down, just think of where he’d be if you had nothing. You are a great mom !!!
When I was a teacher and sat in on my first IEP meeting, I felt that I was not ready for it- which makes me believe what you say that there needs to be more compassion from the teachers. I didn’t know the student, and the only reason I was there was because they needed another “body” present during the meeting. I don’t think this was fair to the parent, as I could not provide any beneficial feedback or appropriate information. I wish administration had a different system set up for things like this..
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Gosh this is so true. My father is a child psychologist and worked in the school system for 30 years, so I know how hard this can be from every perspective. My Dad was always so loved because he had that compassion for the parents and the kids – something that is sadly lacking in child care and teaching of any kind – not just students who are struggling.
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As a former teacher of children with special needs, I have been to many, many IEP meetings. You’re right, sometimes people forget there is a child’s life behind the paperwork. You can get so caught up in the massive amounts of paperwork and how you’re missing time actually teaching those children because of the meetings and the 6 other meetings you have that week, that you forget to stop and be present in the current meeting. I would *hope* that parents and teachers are in such close communication that nothing in the formal meeting is a surprise, but I know that’s not always the case. Both parents and the school need to remember that they are on the same team and we all want what’s best for the child.
I’m glad you have found someone to help you navigate the system.
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As a teacher and a parent, I always make sure I approach the situation in the way I would want to be addressed with my son when he gets into school. Sadly the state is putting so much pressure on teachers these days that they feel burnt out and out of touch with the system because of all of the paperwork and assessment expectations. However, you still have those teachers that remember why they chose this job (not for the money obviously!:) ) and make positives out of the negatives! But in the end it is all about that kiddo!
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My daughter is my only child with an IEP, and it took a fight to even get her the services she so desperately needs. We’re lucky that the last three (I know, I know) schools she has attended have had excellent special ed educators. She’ll never be at grade level but she is close and they love her. I have to focus on the positive.
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Both of my sons had IEP when they were in elementary school. They both started with speech but it was soon discovered with my younger son that he had more of a language issue then speech. I think in our case we just have good people in our schools because they were always helpful, knowledgeable and great. I’m so sorry your experience is not the same.
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As a step mother of a child with Asperger’s we have been to many IEP’s also. It is disconcerning when all you hear is the negitive. I want to hear some positive about my son. Tell me what he is doing good stop telling me all the bad. The other day I was talking to his case manager and she was telling me he isnt listening to this, he wont participate in that, he refuses to do this and so on. I finally said do you have anything good to tell me about my son? And she could only find 1 thing. I was so hurt by this. I sometimes feel all they focus on is the bad and none of the good. This needs to stop in my opinion.
It’s so important to emphasize the positive, not just the negative. I’m sorry you’re having a bad experience with them
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We few this as an attempt to reflect the continuos need for supports and services, whether in an inclusive Least Restrictive Environment environment or in a reduced numbers, low functioning classroom. Likewise, we view Progress Reports/Report Cards and Parent/Teacher/Student Conferences are opportunities to share mostly positives, areas of achievements and new ‘plans’. Comparatively, exchanging daily/weekly/monthly notes and phones calls may garner specific and more impromptu academic, social engagement, therapies successes that you seek.
At Ny rate, we view any measure of progress as a ‘Hi5!’. We thank teachers/Assessors/Counselors/Therapists, as well as, the entire IEP Team. We share accomplishments from home and in the community in an effort to make the school aware of capabilities.
In closing, please express, prior to any meeting, your concerns/desires to your child’s Teachers/Therapists and IEP Team.
All children can learn.